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At this moment it’s easy to think; ‘what a glamorous life it is to be a business traveller! Jet setting around the world. Business class lounges, nice staff and great hotels.’

But, is it really all that glamourous?

As I write this I’m sitting in the BA First Club Lounge at one of London Heathrow’s many terminals. When the guy at the check in desk said, “Sir, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you,” after a tough day I did really think the worst. Instead he up graded me from business to first. With an inflated chest and sense of over importance I then trotted off the BA lounge and took advantage of their wonderful catering services.

But, as I settled down to wait for my 2 hour delayed flight I once again realised that as lovely as flying first class and enjoying all the splendours of the first class lounge are, and then as lovely as the 5 star hotel in Singapore will be…I would gladly forgoe it all to be at home and then enjoy the weekend with my partner and friends.

While this may seem a little self indulgent, I write this with an interesting question in mind:

Is travelling for work really all that glamorous?

A few weeks ago, having arrived in Edinburgh on the red-eye flight I bumped into someone I recruited many years ago who then left the organisation we worked for to join a big 4 consultancy. She looked tired and to be honest, but not overly inspired. She was earning the ‘big bucks’ but working the hours to do it.

Without wanting to dwell on the point…business travel is not glamorous, at least not in the longer term. Therefore, when being seduced by the glamorous corporate life style…see it for what it is…with glamor comes cost and more often, that cost is yours to bare! So…make your choices consciously!

Just a thought….

As quite an independent person, I’ve always been reluctant to ask people for help, even when I really needed it. This wasn’t because of some foolish notion that I was brilliant and could do it all myself. Instead it was due to being quite shy and not wanting to add to the burden of other people. What I’ve come to realise as I’ve got older is this approach is flawed for three key reasons:

1. You can never do everything by yourself.

2. People are mostly always keen to help.

3. You miss out on some great opportunities by not involving others.

Of these reasons, the two that amazed me the most when I realised was 2 & 3. I was surprised at how willing people are to help out. I have always been the type of guy who would go out of my way to help others, but I thought I was the only one who did this. However, as I started asking people for help on things I quickly began to realise that people are more than willing to help others. Secondly, as I started asking people for help I began getting other opportunities to do things that I had previously missed – it was amazing – by asking people for help I was getting new project opportunities, job offers, and I was really expanding what I was learning.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help – the worst they can say is no!

This week I had two different people come to me for help. Both were at breaking point with their issues and were allowing themselves to be buried in self doubt. My first words when speaking with them were; “Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” To which they responded; “I was too embarrassed to ask for help!”

My advice for any one who’s struggling with a problem or issue they can’t resolve, no matter how big or small, is don’t be afraid to ask for help. Trying to solve everything by yourself isn’t a good approach. Humans are social creatures that learn most effectively from interacting with others. So it’s in our DNA to engage others to solve problems. And the worst thing anyone can ever say to you is no – which isn’t really that bad at all.

My final piece of advice in asking for help, is make sure you go to those who will really be able to help you. Often this is people who will have a completely different perspective than you. Once again, the worst thing they will say is no, and to be honest, in my experience very few people ever say no!

A last word on Asking for Help

When you first ask for help and someone say’s yes, it’s a hugely liberating experience for you as you get to cast of your shackles of suffering and get the support you need. As you get this support however make sure you use it  - implementing the solutions you create is where change comes from!

For anyone who’s been following my blog, let me apologise for the gap in posts.

I’m back on line again now…so there’ll be more to come.

If you’ve got any thoughts on topics…drop me a line or comment on this page.

Cheers

Rob

Last week I had the pleasure of presenting to a group of university students who’ve just finished their studies. During my presentation I asked the question: “What do you expect the professional world to be like?” Amongst the flurry of responses, organisational politics seemed to be a favourite!

“What do you mean by politics?” I asked

“People just being in it for themselves,” someone responded angrily.

In the discussion that followed, a simple conclusion was drawn; politics is nothing but personality – it is just the behaviour that results from the self-driven egos of ourselves and others! 

How do we deal with Politics?

If politics is nothing but personality, then dealing with politics is as easy as dealing with difficult people.

People who we believe to be ‘difficult’ are so because they disturb something in us. When we encounter politics (or self-driven ego based behaviour), we must recognise it for what it is. And more importantly, we must recognise it for what it disturbs in us.

The first step in doing this is to recognise that all behaviour of individuals is driven by some motive that’s ‘pure’ for them. Although this is sometimes very hard to appreciate, all people I meet are seeking to satisfy something that’s important at a very deep level for them. For example, I met a person recently who insisted on challenging every single thing I said. It turned out that she had been bullied early in life and for her, this form of challenge was actually a strategy of ‘attack is the best form of defence’, which when I heard the full story I could fully understand.

So, whilst the initial behaviour seems very self-focused, the motive behind the behaviour is pure for the person pushing it.

When we realise that all behaviour is driven by a motive that is at least pure for the individual, we can take the second step. This step involves responding to the motive not the behaviour. For example, with the person I met, rather than react negatively to her constant challenge, I could relax my own ego and help her to feel safe, hence responding to her deeper need. This point of relaxing your own ego when dealing with politics is the key. In the past you might have heard it being called; “being the bigger person”, but ultimately it is about responding and not reacting. Often when we deal with politics it disturbs something in us and hence we react. But, if you are able to focus on their motive and not their behaviour, then you can begin to respond instead.

A last thought…

When ever we experience something that frustrates us, such as office politics, it’s always easy to get drawn into as our own ego is tested. However, the key is always to recognise that it is disturbing something in us. By doing this you can draw yourself out of the emotion of the situation and focus on responding to the other person’s motive rather than their behaviour!

Read more about this in Grad Expectations: the essential guide for all graduates entering the work force

Occasionally in life things don’t always go the way you wanted or expected – yes, sometimes things go wrong! Examples of this include not doing well on an assignment, not getting the job that you desperately wanted, delivering a bad presentation at work, getting bad feedback from your boss, or anything else where you just didn’t get the result you hoped for!

When things go wrong its very easy to feel a sense of despair and to feel deflated by the experience – disappointment is natural and everyone feels it at some stage of their lives and career – every famous or fabulously rich person I know of has failed at some point!

The important thing to focus on when things go wrong however, is not that it has gone wrong. Instead, you need to focus on why it went wrong. Focusing only on the fact that something hasn’t turned out how you’d hoped often results in you unconstructively dwelling on it, rather than constructively using it to succeed in the future!

Understanding WHY it went wrong…

When something hasn’t gone as you’d planned or hoped, whilst it’s ok to be annoyed or upset, you need to take this energy and focus it on understanding WHY it didn’t go as planned. Seeking to understand the ‘WHY’ is important for two reasons:

1. It helps you stop dwelling on the negative and start focusing on using the experience constructively.
2. It helps you use the experience to learn and develop as an individual.

How do you understand WHY it went wrong?

To understand WHY it went wrong , grab a sheet of paper and write out a short description of the situation at the top of the page. Then, below your description of the situation, answer the 3 simple questions below:

1. What did I do well in the situation? In any situation, even if it went wrong, there are always things that you have done well and it’s important to recognise these so that you can focus on using them again.
2. What did I not do well in the situation? This is an easy place to focus when something hasn’t gone well, but it’s important to stay objective when focusing on what you specifically did to result in it not going well.
3. What would you do differently in the future? Using the answers to questions 1 & 2, this final question is the most important. I had a mentor once who said, ‘that making a mistake once is a learning opportunity, but making a mistake twice is a character flaw!’ Although I’m not sure I fully agree with the statement, when things go wrong it’s important to look at how you would approach the situation differently in the future. This simple question is where the learning comes from and will help you focus on moving forward.

A Last Thought…

It’s an unfortunate fact that things don’t always turn out how we’d hoped. However, when they don’t, it’s important to take some time to fully consider why and what you can learn from the experience. And, although feeling disappointed is perfectly natural, you will always learn more from when things don’t go well than you will from when things do go well! 

Good luck living and learning…it is a part of life!

Over the last few weeks I’ve met and helped a lot of people who’ve spent a very long time looking for a job after Graduating, but with no luck! One person had even been looking for 3 years without a single interview – yes, 3 years with not even an interview!

When I listened to each of these peoples’ stories, I kept coming to the same conclusion - each of them had a couple of things in common:

1. They were trying the same failing approach over and over again – hitting their heads against the same brick wall, you might say! and

2. They had stopped believing that getting a job was possible!

Ultimately, because they’d fallen into the trap of these two things, it was clear to see that they were stuck in a self-fulfilling prophecy – if you don’t believe you’ll get a job, then chances are you wont!

Although there’s a lot more to the story of these people than what I’m writing, there’s one thing that each needed to develop; they each needed to learn to believe again - they each needed to change their state of mind!

Breaking the Prophecy – Change your State of Mind

When looking for a job, if you’re not having any luck, or, if you’ve discover that you’re in a self-fulfilling prophecy, there’s a few critical things you must do:

First,  recognise that whatever you’re trying, it isn’t working.If you’ve been repetitively knocked back at any stage of the recruiting process (initial application, phone interview, face-to-face interview, or assessment centre) it’s critical to stop and consider what you’re doing wrong. To do this, if you can, seek some feedback from the organisations you’ve applied to. They should be able to give you some insight as to what worked and what didn’t. If they won’t give feedback, then don’t worry. Depending on what stage you’re going wrong, seek to do a complete review of what YOU think YOU could be doing wrong. For example, if you’re not getting an interview from your applications, you need to take a serious look at your cover letter, CV and also your approach to your applications. There are plenty of experts who review CVs in the market, and if you can find a good one it’s worth investing to get them to take a look at what you’re doing. If you are failing at another stage then you need to reflect on every aspect of what you did to identify (i) what you did well, (ii) what you didn’t do well, and (iii) what you will do differently next time.

Second, keep the outcome in mind, but take one step at a time. In the process of getting a job it’s easy to become fixated on the end outcome, i.e. getting a job! Although starting with the outcome in mind is really important, focusing solely on it is dangerous because you pay less attention to the steps in between where you are now and getting a job. What I mean with this is that to get a job you must excel at all the steps in the process. This includes, developing an excellent CV and application, researching the organisations you have applied to, and rehearsing your key interview approach and responses. By keeping your outcome in mind, whilst also taking one step at a time to get there, you can make sure you excel at all the steps to success.

Third, keep the faith through being self-critical. When looking for a job, you’ve got to believe that you can get one. This means believing that the job you’re after is out there, and you just have to find it and earn it. To do this, you have to keep the faith. This will help you remain positive and focused. To do this however, linking back to the first step, you must stay self-critical. That is, you must be constantly reviewing, reflecting and improving what you’re doing so that at each stage of the recruitment process you are excelling. You don’t have to do this alone, because often when you’re in the heat of the moment trying to find a job it’s tough to step back and look objectively. Therefore, don’t be afraid to ask those around you for help to ensure you are excelling in all areas!

A last thought on Getting a Job…

Getting a job is 50% about belief and 50% about your approach. And, believe it or not, but your belief will heavily impact your approach, and vice versa. Therefore, if you find yourself hitting your head against the same brick wall, then stop and take some time to see where you may be going wrong. Through doing this as objectively as possible you’ll be able to change your approach to ensure you’re successful!

For help with getting yourself in the right mindset and breaking out of a self-fulfilling prophecy as you look for a job, contact Grad Expectations at info@grad-expectations.com

Often in professional life, whether it’s when your finishing University or when you’ve officially started working, you find yourself feeling like there’s too many things to do and not enough time.  I call this feeling like you’re spinning plates – you’re trying to keep momentum on too many things and you feel like if anyone of them drops, it will break.

For anyone trapped in this cycle it’s a dangerous place to be – why? Well, to put it simply, it’s dangerous because we’re all only human and there are only so many things that we can keep moving at anyone time. And, if you spin plates for too long, you will burn out!

What do you do if you’re spinning plates?

When you find yourself feeling like you have too many things on and not enough time to complete them all – feeling like you’re spinning plates – there are 3 things you can do:

1.  Be honest with yourself – Recognise You’re Spinning Plates!

The first and most critical thing to do is to be honest with yourself and recognise that you’ve taken on too many things. It’s widely understood that the human brain can handle 5 +/- 2 things at any one time. Trying to take on any more than this and you’ll feel over loaded. This feeling of being over loaded is what you need to recognise, and with that, it’s important to be honest with yourself that you’ve taken on too much.

2. Prioritise What You’ve Taken On

When you’ve got many plates in the air, it’s often difficult to step back and look objectively at all the things you’re doing. The reason this is difficult is because you feel that if you step back there’s a chance one of the plates might fall. Despite this feeling, once you’re honest with yourself that you’ve taken on too much you have to step back and prioritise. One simple way of prioritising is to use the Importance v’s Urgent Matrix (see wikipedia for an example).

Using the four quadrants of this matrix, you assess each of the tasks you have to complete against their importance and urgency. In doing this, it’s critical that you assess each task against each other so you avoid seeing them all as important and all as urgent. As you do this prioritisation, you will start to see that some of the tasks are less critical than others. You should also make sure that you only focus on a max of 3 Urgent and Important at any one time. More than this and you’re back to where you started.

3. Take Action

After you’ve prioritised all the things you have on, you need to take action. This action must include the following:

1. STOP doing anything that isn’t both important and urgent. You should let people know that you’re doing this, but it’s important that you stop it because it just isn’t high on your priority list.
2. RE-NEGOTIATE that which is important but not urgent. These things must still be done, but you should re-negotiate their completion date.
3. FOCUS on that which is important and urgent. Even as you do this however, it’s important that you prioritise these against each other also, and that you allocate the time needed to get them done.

A Last Thought on Prioritising…

When you feel overwhelmed with too many things on, it’s really important that you’re honest with yourself about this. Struggling on, without prioritising and taking the right action will only lead to the feelings intensifying and ultimately you burning out. When looking at the actions you need to take once you’ve prioritised, I always find the ’stop’ doing the non-critical tasks as most difficult. And, usually this is due to me not wanting to let people down. However, it’s important to remember that you’re only one person and you can’t do everything, so sometimes you just have to say no!

For further tips like these, see Grad Expectations - the essential guide for all graduates entering the work force.

When we first start working after finishing University it’s very easy to feel like we need to be someone we’re not. Looking around our new environment we see many talented people and we experience all sorts of expectations about how we should behave and what we should do…no wonder it’s so hard to find our feet in the new professional world after University!

This week I was asked to have a chat with a young guy, Jack, who’s been really struggling for the last 4 months.

“How are things going?” I asked Jack as we sat down in a cafe.

“Not good,” he responded with a very dejected tone.

“I just don’t seem to be getting ‘this’ right,” Jack continued after a short silence. “I mean I’m trying really hard to do what everyone expects, but it just doesn’t seem to work.”

As Jack paused I could see he was clearly distressed.

“It’s like, everyday as I walk into the office I have to take a deep breath. Then it’s like I put on a mask to be this confident professional who does everything right, when in reality I’m just scared of getting it wrong again,” he concluded with a big sigh.

“We’ll there’s the issue right there,” I said with a smile. “It seems like all we have to do is help you take off that mask and start to be yourself again.”

“How do we do that?” Jack asked as if pleading for the answer.

In the new professional world after University it’s very easy to feel like you need to put on a mask and be someone you’re not. The pressure and expectations are always great, and I’ve met many people over the years who have stayed wearing a mask for their entire lives – mostly for the wrong reasons! The impact of putting on this mask each day is that it creates enormous stress because you stop you being you! 

Be Yourself – Take off the Mask

One of things many Graduates forget is that their success in life up to this point is the result of them being themselves. If you look back over you’re life you’ve achieved some great things, including getting a University degree and landing a job. And all these things are due to you being you!

So with this in mind, why change who you are just because you’ve started your ‘professional’ career?

Achieving success in the professional world is no different from success in any other part of your life – the secret is to be yourself! If you disagree with this, google the topic authentic leadership.  There is a huge amount of research going into this exact topic; people are realising that the greatest leaders are actually authentic individuals – they are not trying to be someone they’re not, they’re being themselves!

What does being yourself mean?

Being yourself means letting your true personality come out. It means relaxing your ego and engaging with the world around you in the way you naturally would. For example, if your boss asks you to do something that you don’t understand. Instead of immediately saying yes out of fear and then worrying about the fact you don’t understand, you ask them some questions until you get it. Or, if you need to get other people to do things for you, rather than just demanding it or sheepishly asking, you first build a relationship with them to get to know them as people before you ask for their help.

Being yourself also means sometimes ‘borrowing’ behaviours for short and specific tasks when you need to. For example, the natural you may be quite shy, but to get things done at work you must build relationships. Therefore to do this you can ‘borrow’ behaviour to help you engage others more confidently. Borrowing behaviours is different from wearing a mask because it’s temporary and hence you are not forcing yourself to continuously try to be someone you’re not.

A Last Thought…

The secret to success in the professional world after university is to be yourself! Too many people get caught in the belief that to be successful in their careers they need to fundamentally change who they are by pretending to be someone they’re not. Whilst this might result in some short term wins, ultimately it causes enormous stress as every day if feels like you’re putting on a mask. 

The key to being yourself simply requires you to be a human being – to be the person who you naturally are! In being this person you should constantly seek to develop and grow as an individual and you can also seek to temporarily borrow behaviours where required. But ultimately, it’s about you being you!

For more tips like this, CLICK HERE to get your copy of Grad Expectations: the essential guide for all graduates entering the work force.

I’ve recently read a lot of posts or comments by recent graduates who are looking for jobs. One thing that really surprised me was the number who have submitted over 100 applications to get no interviews - wow, 100 applications and no interview, something’s not working!

Based on the Pareto Principle (80% of your results, come from 20% of your effort) I have a very simple philosophy on life:

Never hit your head against the same brick wall, always take a step back and look for a door!

100+ applications with no response, sounds to me like hitting your head against the same brick wall – it’s time to do something different!

What can you do to be different – you have to be BOLD and stand out!

How can you be BOLD when applying for Jobs?

In my day job I manage a Graduate Programme for a multi-national company, so I get to see many applications and many CVs. In my out of hours life I also coach and help recent college graduates on how to get a job and how to succeed in their careers once they’ve landed that job. From these roles, I can honestly say that the most successful people are those who are bold. And, they are bold for two reasons:

1. Those who don’t ask, don’t get! The most successful Graduates I meet are the ones who aren’t waiting around for someone to hand them the perfect opportunity. They are getting out there, finding who the right people to talk to are and then engaging them proactively (not passively!). This means they are making contact with the right people, finding out as much as they can about the organisation they want to work for, and then doing everything they can to get noticed. LinkedIn.com, is a great platform to help you find those right people!

2. Those who stand out, get noticed! The most successful Graduates I meet also know how to stand out and get noticed. Whether it be through their application, CV, cover letter or approach to contacting people, they know how to make themselves different, and more importantly, more attractive than their counterparts. A couple of examples of this are below:

Example 1: Recently I offered free books to the first 25 people who emailed me. Out of these two subject lines, which jumps out to you?

Subject: I admit, I want a free book!

v’s

Subject: Answer to Question

That’s right – the first one really made me want to take notice and read more. The second, was just the standard response to which I replied with a standard email!

Example 2: Recently I advertised a role to support me with marketing my book. Out of these two cover letters, which would you employ?

Dear Mr. Cross,

I am writing in reply to the advertisement on the UCL website for the Marketing and Events manger position.

I think I would be well suited to the position as I’m outgoing and quick-witted, so enjoy being highly involved in the student community and am attuned to its members’ needs and way of thinking. My sister has recently graduated from Bath, meaning I am also connected to the graduate community and sympathetic to their views.

I have always been creative and strive to take the initiative to make things happen. During my Young Enterprise course I created a brochure, stall and powerpoint presentation to market and display the services of our company, for which we received a special commendation. My Mother is a copywriter so I have experience of proof-reading written work and am also, through her, well connected with a Bristol-based publishing company. As it is a company my family is closely linked with, I have often been surrounded by talk of book launches and have attended several myself, giving me an inside knowledge of such events and associated marketing strategies. In the past I have selected images for the cover of a Bristol Youth guide which is published annually and sells very well, and have also done research for a Cornwall guidebook.

Attached is my CV, which offers further evidence of my achievements. If offered the job I would consistently work to the absolute best of my ability, with confidence and flair.

All the best,

V’s

Dear Sir/Madam

Re: Job as a part-time marketing and events manager

I would like to apply for the job of a part-time marketing and events manager in Central London. Please find attached a copy of my CV.

My previous part time jobs as a sales assistant give me experiences of a basic knowledge on marketing and promotion, as well as skills of dealing with customers. In addition, I have always been the event organizer on lots of things for examples course work meeting, parties, or travelling, and I am also pretty good at promoting ideas on group study and course work. At the same time, I am an enthusiastic worker, and enjoy working in a team. My student visa entitles me to work up to 20 hours per week (or longer during my school holidays), and I could start work immediately.

Hope to hear from you as soon as possible

Yours faithfully

Once again, the first application won as it made me feel like they knew me and what I was trying to achieve. And, they seemed like they were going to be an exciting person to work with.

So…standing out by being BOLD doesn’t mean doing anything eccentric or bizarre, but it does mean that you stand out from just the standard responses that everyone gives. Being BOLD also means that you show some of your personality – after all, that’s who we’re trying to recruit, a real person, the real you!

A Last Word…

As someone who recruits Graduates, I get to meet hundreds of different people and read thousands of different CVs. That’s why for you, if you’re serious about getting a job, don’t continue hitting your head against the same brick wall – focus on how you can make yourself stand out by being BOLD!